Addled Love
by GOREgeous-13
Summary: Hikaru's love towards his brother changes from "brotherly love" to a more passionate love. Will he be able to confess his love to his brother?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I think I finally got this thing to work. (The whole chapters thing . . . )  
I've been having problems with it D; This website is sooo hard to use. (Atleast for me it is)  
So anyways, this is my first fanfic, so please review !  
I enjoy hearing peoples comments and stuff. I enjoy criticism, so don't be afraid to tell me it sucks !  
Anyways....here it is: Please enjoy. ^^**

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**Prologue : (Hikaru's POV)**

Ever since we were infants, Kaoru and I have been inseparable.

We never left the other's side.

We looked the same, liked the same things, had the same blood type,

Everything about us was the same.

And apparently, no one could tell us apart.

So, we decided that we didn't need anyone else.

There was us, and there was not us.

Everyone else wasn't really important.

We loved each other and nothing could ever change that.

But once we got into junior high,

I wasn't sure how much I loved him.

The love I once had for him changed.

I began to think I loved him more than just my brother,

I loved him in a way I couldn't explain.

And slowly, but surely, I had fallen deeply in love with my brother.

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**Chapter 1 :**

The first time I experienced this, we'll call it a "strange affection", towards my brother was in grade 7.

It was the end of the year, and we had our exams.

The other exams were easy, I was pretty certain I got at least 95% on my science exam, at least a 90% on my history exam, and at least 90% on my English exam. So all that was left was math. (Which I'd probably get at least a 95% on as well. Math and science are my stronger subjects, probably because they're my favorite).

It was the day before our math exam, so we decided to shower at night so we could sleep in longer in the morning. We did this before all of our exams. It left us more time to get sleep, get ready, eat, and of course cause trouble for the maids.

Being courteous, I let my brother shower first. I figured it was the right thing to do.

I started a new shojo manga series and read for about a half and hour, waiting for my brother to finish showering.

"Hikaru! Your turn!" my brother shouted from the bathroom.

I slowly got up from my bed and slid my book into my bookshelf, that seemed to be filled with dozens of shojo manga series. I'm pretty sure guys aren't supposed to be that into shojo manga, but I can't stop reading it. It's so addicting.

I slowly made my way through the hallway between my bedroom and the bathroom. My feet shuffled across the red and yellow rug covering the marble floor. I scanned the numerous paintings of me and my brother hanging from the walls.

_We really do look the same_, I thought to myself.

Once I made it to the bathroom door, I slowly turned the handle and gently opened the door.

I lifted my eyes from the floor and looked at my nude brother standing in front of me. He picked up a towel and put it over his hair.

"I kept the shower running for you, Hikaru. Hurry up and get it." Kaoru smiled at me.

I felt my blood racing to my face, and my eyes widened.

Sure, I've seen my brother naked before, but for some reason it seemed like the first time. His slim body stood in front of mine, and he began drying off his hair.

Flustered, I quickly bolted out of the bathroom and into my room. I slammed the door shut and my knees became week. I collapsed to the floor.

I sat up against my door, my heart racing.

I felt this ache in my heart that longed for my brother. If felt like my heart had grown and completely taken over the inside of my chest.

_This isn't normal. Why do I feel like this?_ I couldn't figure out why I got this sudden feeling of passion towards my brother.

I decided I'd just shower in the morning, I couldn't face my brother again. I was pretty embarrassed at the fact that I bolted out of the bathroom like that.

I stood up and slid off my shirt socks, and pants and lied down in my bed.

I puled the sheets up over my body and tried to fall asleep.

A picture of my brother naked seemed to be permanently stuck inside my head. It was keeping me up.

After Kaoru had finished drying off and was done getting ready for bed he joined me in my bed.

He was always crawling into my bed. The truth is, it was lonely sleeping without his body and warmth there.

"Something wrong, Hikaru?" He gently ran his hand across my hair.

"I'm fine." I lied. I didn't want him to know anything about my thoughts towards him. I slowly turned away from him and faced the wall.

He moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around me. "G'night, Hikaru."

"Night," I replied. Him lying next to me wasn't helping my issue, but it was comforting having him there.

He nuzzled his head into my shoulder and my heart started beating faster._ Oh God, _I thought to myself, hoping he wouldn't notice.

After two hours of attempting to fall asleep, Kaoru's arm still around me, I turned my body towards his.

I put my chin on his head and wrapped my arms around him. _I love you, Kaoru. _I gently pressed my lips against his forehead, and finally got some sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so this is the second chapter.  
I screwed up though D;  
The third chapter was done, but I was so focused on this whole making sure I have chapters instead of one big story thing,  
that I accidently deleted my third chapter.**

**And now, just as I'm writing this, I realized I could have just press undo.......but stupid me already closed the thing...... so I'm going to have to write the third chapter again.  
My appologies . (I'm so stupid D; D; D; T.T sorry)  
Anyways, enjoy the second chapter... I'll try to rewrite the third chapter soon !  
Reviews would be great aswell. ^^**

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**Chapter 2 :**

In our second year in Junior high, Kaoru and I took Home Ec. as one of our electives.

I don't really get the point of us learning how to cook, when we can just pay people to do it. But, Kaoru seemed to really enjoy it though, so i decided to keep my complaints to myself.

In the curriculum for Home Ec. that year, each group was assigned a different country and we had to prepare different dishes from that country's cuisine.

Kaoru and I were assigned Jamaica. _Oh joy_. I was sorta hoping for Italy, Kaoru and I both really enjoy Italian food so I thought Italy would be a good country for us.

We also sorta enjoy spicy food, so I guess Jamaica isn't _too_ bad. It could have been worse.

So for one of our recipes, we decided to do fried plantains. This was fine by me, it was a simple, easy to do recipe. So it didn't involve too much work.

While Kaoru prepared everything else, my job was to simply cut the plantains.

I enjoyed watching Kaoru in Home Ec. He always had a smile on his face.

That day, he seemed especially happy.

His eyes caught any glimpse of light in the room, making them shine beautifly. His hair was soft and perfectly combed, yet somehow messy at the same time. And most of all, he had a extremely cute innocent smile on his face that would even make Nekozawa step into light just to see it.

While Kaoru was prepareing the pan, he looked at me over his shoulder, smiled, then gave me a wink.

My heart completely melted at the sight of it.

While cutting the plantains though, my mind got a bit too focused on how cute Kaoru looked that day, and how unbelievably gorgeous he looked when he winked. My finger slipped in front of the knife and I felt a sharp pain shoot up my hand.

A bit shocked, I looked down to see a large cut in the side of my index finger. Blood had began to pour out of the wound.

Kaoru came over quickly, his cute smile replaced by a concerned stare.

He quickly grabbed my hand and put his lips over my cut.

He looked up at me concerned, "You've got to be more careful with knives, Hikaru."

He then grabbed a towel and put it over my finger and tried to stop the bleeding, much to my dismay. I much prefered my finger in his mouth than in a towel.

I put my head down and apologized to him. My face began to get hot.

I had this urge to grab hold of my brother and give him a "thank-you" kiss. But, knew I couldn't.

After a few minutes, the bleeding had stopped. Kaoru let unwrapped the towel from my hand and wiped off the extra blood.

Once Kaoru had finished, I wrapped my arms around him, "thank you" I whispered into his ear. His arms slowly wrapped around my body, and my heart began racing.

"Let's finished the recipe". He let go of me, gave me another smile/wink, and resumed preparing the pan.

I wanted to tell him I loved him when he held me. I wanted to hold him closely forever. I wanted to run my hands through his hair and gently kiss him.

But I knew I couldn't.

Maybe once I could build up the courage, I would finally confess my love to my brother.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I had my rough draft still. But it still needed work, so I slaved over my computer and fixed it up.  
It's not exactly the same as it was before, but the main just of it is still there.  
Again, my appologies for my complete lack of brains. D;  
Hopefully it's better than the one before. D;**

Enjoy! (And review :3.........the more reviews I get, the more action that will happen between the brothers. ;3)

**Chapter 3 :**

In grade 9, Kaoru and I joined the basketball team.

We were bored and we needed something to amuse us for the time being.

We were always good as sports, but to our surprise we excelled in basketball. We both were appointed the team captains our second day of being on the team. Both of us were appointed because they couldn't decide which one of us should be the captain. Usually theres only 1 captains though)

There was a big basketball tournament going on between the schools during the second term. Our team easily defeated any team we were put up against. _Go figure._

We were usally a good 30 points ahead of the other team by the end of the game.

Our second last game (this was the game that would decided if we were playing for gold or not) the score was pretty tight.

We won of course, but the ending score was 98 to 94.

Kaoru and I decided we needed to practise more, so after the game had finished and everyone had left the gym, we began our small practise.

We practised our shooting, running, layups, and free throws. _God_, Kaoru was gorgeous when he did free throws.

His face was cute, hopeful, and concentrated all at once. And when he got it in, a cute small smile would appear from the corners of his lips and his eyes would begin to glimmer.

I started blushing whenever I saw it. Luckily for me, we were working up a sweat, so I was already red and the blushing wasn't visable.

After our 2 hours of practising, Kaoru and I packed it in and headed to the changeroom.

We walked to the change rooms sweating and panting. Kaoru took the small hand towel he had placed around his neck and gently wiped off the sweat from my face. "There you go, you were working hard today."

I began blushing once again, "Thanks" I replied sheepishly.

I held the door open for Kaoru and we walked into the changerooms.

We opened our lockers and took our our towels so we could shower. Looking inside mine, I soon realized I didn't have a towel.

"Hey Kaoru, do you have an extra towel?" I asked my brother while I continued to look for the towel that I could have sworn was in there.

I turned around and saw my brother in nothing more than a towel. He nodded and threw a towel my way.

My heart started racing, my passion for my brother started acting up again, and we'll just say my shorts got a bit tighter.

My mind was so focused on my brothers gorgeous abs, which were perfectly toned, and reflected the light due to the slight amount of sweat, that I didn't see the opened locker infront of me.

I started to walk towards my brother but go stoped by that goddamned locker.

I walked straight into the locker, and hit my head extremely hard. Then I proceeded to instantly hit the floor where I once again hit my head.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru quickly ran to me and placed my head on his lap. He started stroking my hair softly, "Are you okay? You hit your head pretty hard."

I looked up at my brother, who looked slightly worried. His eyes had a somewhat painful look in them.

Looking up at my brother like that sparked something inside of me, I couldn't controll myself.

"I love you Kaoru, so much". After realizing I had just confessed my love to my brother, my face started heating up again and my eyes got wider. I was concerned to see what his reply was going to be.

Now before I tell you what happened next, I want to know if you've ever felt a huge knife stab through your heart, due to rejection, total shock, and total embarassment. The feeling where you want to lock yourself up in a dark closet and never come out. The feeling where you feel so shocked you can't move, and you feel as though your heart has dropped right out of your body.

Good, now that we have an understanding about how I felt, I'll tell you what Kaoru said.

He looked deep into my eyes and said..........."I love you too, your my brother."

You know in some anime shows, when someone criticizes or rejects someone and that arrow just punctures through their bodies.....I'm pretty sure that happened to me.

Hearing that from him, is the equivilant to hearing, "I love you too, we're great friends" or "let's just stay friends" right after you confess your love to someone.

A few hours later, I found myself placed upon a hospital bed.

I'm not exactly sure if I fainted because of the rejection, or because of the grade 3 concussion I had given myself.

All I knew is that I'd never confess my love to my brother ever again. It's hard being rejected by a person who is completely oblivious to the fact that they rejected you.

Maybe I made a big deal about the whole thing, but it did cause major damage.

I ended up not being able to play in the final basketball game, due to my concussion. And Kaoru didn't play because I wasn't going to be playing. So of course, we lost the basketball game.

Kaoru kept by my side every minute while I recovered. I wasn't sure how I felt about him being there.

It sucked knowing he'd never love me the way I loved him, but it was still nice having him there.

Maybe Kaoru will fall for me, I highly doubt it. But all I can do is hope for the best.

**Okay, so it's not exactly the same as it was before.  
But hopeully you guys still enjoyed it !  
I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing for the next chapter....I haven't been able to think of any ideas D;**

**Well.....I have a couple, but they're for the end of the story ;3  
Review please ! ! **


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